Not Good Friday

Tiggy went into labour at some point during the night, when I woke up this morning it was apparent she had encountered difficulties, she was tired, her contractions had stopped, the pup was dead and I could tell by the look on her face and her body language that she was too far 'gone' to save.

I cried.

I held her,
I kissed her ears,
told her I was sorry,
told her how much I loved her,
she groomed my fingers.

I cried.

She passed away.

I cried.

I'm still crying.



So many people will say, it's just one of those things, these things happen, it wasn't your fault, you did all you could,
But I can't help but feel immensely guilty, I feel selfish for wanting her to have babies, it was unnecessary, she was happy without them, it was us that decided we should try her one last time.

I've unpaired my pet pigs.
I can almost justify losing pigs in pregnancy when the litter is needed to further the lines and produce 'show stock', but when they are ''just'' much loved pets there is no real need to produce more pets, is there?

If the pet pigs are pregnant then so be it.
If not then they never will be.


R.I.P Mrs Tigwiggles
There's a scruffy cream agouti hole in my heart, you will always be missed x